Thursday, September 13, 2012

First Decision

We'd barely touched the food we were sharing. We were too busy talking and laughing. You were telling me who you thought I was, the to-go box resting precariously on your thigh. I had my hand on your other knee, tracing the seam of your dress pants with my fingers. Our eyes met and you stopped talking. Your eyelids were heavy, eyelashes fluttering, pupils slightly dilated.

You looked down at the food and carefully closed the box. You lifted it and leaned into the back seat, placing it on the leather interior of your Bug, making sure it wouldn't tip.

I caught a whiff of lilac. Your shampoo? Lotion? Perfume? I wasn't sure. I took a deep breath and held it in. I let your scent enter my lungs, mix with my blood, circulate through my body. My hand, still on your knee, was now splayed out, groping as if your knee were the only place I'd ever wanted to touch.

It seemed like you were leaning between the seats for hours, not seconds. You paused. The hesitation was palpable. I could feel it land on me. I could feel that you expected something of me, but I didn't know what. You made up your mind in that hesitation.

You started to sit back up in your seat, but stopped halfway and met my lips with yours. It was a sweet kiss. It was short, but tender and full of whatever emotion you were feeling at the time. Passion mixed with sadness.

After the kiss, you sat up straight in the driver's seat. Your hands were glued to the steering wheel. You looked straight ahead. Your face was full of concentration for the road we were not yet on. We were still in park. The car was not on.

You sat like that for thirty seconds or so, my hand still gripping your knee. It finally occurred to me that I should move it. I put it to my side. You looked at me. I'm sure you saw the confusion in my face.

"You're going to have a big decision to make today," you said.

"A decision?"

"We are going to do things my way today. You're going to have to decide to go along with me every step of the way."

"So my only choice is to do what you say?"

"No. You could not do what I say."

"And?"

"And nothing. We get to the apartment and nothing. Nothing happens."

"So no consequences?"

"That is the consequence. You do what I say or nothing happens."

I considered her for a moment. I considered my options. I made my decision.

"Yes, Ma'am."

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